Character and Personality: Humility

humility When conducting workshops on complex projects, a common question is, “What characteristics must a leader have?” Let’s cover several of the important character traits. The first is humility.

Conversations around this word can be all over the map. When asked for synonyms for humility, responses have included “submissive,” “quiet,” “unassertive,” and “cautious” – to name a few. Let’s see if some clarity can be brought to the situation.

“To Serve”

We can take a peek at humility by looking at samurai. “Samurai” means “to serve.” Samurai were humble. They knew their limits and worked within them. Get the picture? If not, maybe it will become clearer by looking at one of my favorite quotes, which happens to be anonymous:

“There are two types of people in the world – those who are humble and those who are about to be.”

Humility has less to do with affect (how we look to the outside world, e.g., quiet) and more to do with awareness; specifically awareness of one’s limitations. One reason that teams develop is humility. Together we can work beyond our individual limits. Being humble, we can also pay attention to real boundaries and calculate how to push on them.

Humiliation

This all sounds well and good. But isn’t there an element of truth ringing in the words “submissive,” “unassertive,” etc.? No.

The meaning of humility may become clearer when compared to the word it is commonly confused with – humiliation. There are two parts to the meaning of each word. The first part is the same: “To go to a small place.” It is in the second part where the words differ dramatically. With humility I choose to go to that small place. With humiliation… you probably have guessed it… I am pushed there by someone else!

Nice People Apparently Doing Bad Things

These definitions are morally neutral. Let me explain. You might know of a couple going through the following situation: One member (A) of a couple gets the job offer from heaven. The problem is that it requires uprooting and moving to another city. This can humiliate the other partner (B), who might ask, “What about me?”

Assuming A is free of any malicious thoughts of manipulating B, B still is saddled with an unfairness that needs to be addressed. The challenge of interdependence is present. B is going to have to take a risk in order to work interdependently with A.

Fast-Paced Organizations

This issue shows up on the job on an almost daily basis. When a company says they are fluid, flexible, fast-paced and will work to meet or exceed customer needs, a set of questions comes to mind. For instance: “Is the leader humble?” and “Does the leader watch for potentially humiliating situations and work with those who get pushed there?”

The principles by which the leader lives come into play. In navigating through change management, there is a need for the leader to be steadfast, open, and available. The leader stays humble and stable – serving as a reference point for those who are feeling a bit humiliated, as well as those who are getting to stay on their chosen path. Both groups of people are part of the success.

The Payoff

It is hard to overstate how much humility, combined with interdependence, contributes to creating a powerful team. Trust is present, which fuels a feed-forward (instead of a looking-back-and-wondering-what-happened) frame of mind. The awareness of limits leads to better decision-making, so not only is the team moving faster, but there is also a higher probability of sustaining success.

So, the next time humble pie is being served, consider asking for a second slice.

Gary Monti has over 30 years experience providing change- and project management services internationally. He works at the nexus between strategy, business case, project-, process-, and people management. Service modalities include consulting, teaching, mentoring, and speaking. Credentials include PMP number 14 (Project Management Institute®), Myers-Briggs Type Indicator certification, and accreditation in the Cynefin methodology. Gary can be reached at gary.monti@aureliuspress.com.

If you’d like to submit a Jungian-focused blog on working with different personality types (in professional or personal settings), please contact Jennifer Rojas, our Blog Editor, at jennifer.rojas@aureliuspress.com.

Character and Personality #5: Don’t pull that trigger!

pulltrigger Ever been attracted to someone who will save the day? You know, the White Knight that will save the situation? What about the flip side? Someone showing up in your life you absolutely can’t stand?

A leader must pay very close attention to feelings that accompany these situations. Are you aware both situations can have a great deal in common? They can have what I call large “blind spots” associated with them, blind spots into which organizations can fall and disappear.

There’s a curious component to these blind spots since they can have as much or more to do with the leader’s character as the exterior reality. The dynamics of these blind spots and how to deal with them fall under the category of projection. So what is projection? How can one deal with it?

Projection

Projection is shady. It creates false feelings of well-being around potentially disastrous decisions. At its core, projection deals with the desire to take a shortcut to avoid going to dark places, especially within.

Dynamics

Previous blogs mention we all have portions of our psyche that are quite strong and other parts that are weak. Over time, we tend to build our lives around the stronger components and gradually develop a fear of those weaker ones. The primary reasons for the fear are imagined and real instabilities from which we believe we may not recover. Simply put, our reputation, business, etc., are at stake. We are staring at uncertainty.

The attempted shortcut becomes trying to find someone, the Other, who will deal with those dark spaces for us. We become infatuated with the Other. The Other is taken hostage.

Conversely, the shortcut with the detested person is to simply get rid of him or her. This way the scary work can, again, be avoided.

In both cases, the leader stays myopic, loses vision, and is unable to see the consequences of decisions. A boss hiring someone to do the more difficult parts of the boss’s responsibilities (read: dirty work) is a good example of projection. It tears the team apart.

So Which is Which?

How does one know if the desired decision is wise and simple or blind and chaotic? In one word, “Options.” In two words, “Risk management.” In another two words, “Assumption analysis.” Let me explain:

Projection is sly and takes several forms. It is a narcotic that puts discernment to sleep. It is a demolition expert wiring explosives to all that has been built. It puts the trigger in the leader’s hand. It intensifies emotionality, making pulling the trigger feel oh so sweet. (“Just fire him! Just hire her! Start without a contract! Requirements gathering will slow us down! Cash flow! Everything will be okay.”)

Then it waits for the blind decision that irreversibly pulls the trigger and destroys healthy power, assets, and people.

By asking questions around options, risk management, and assumption analysis, the door to healthier decision-making opens. Vision returns. Now, all this means going into those dark spaces. It’s hard work, rewarding work. It’s also the simplest work. (There’s never enough time to do it right the first time, but there’s always time to fix it.) Keep in mind that, just like Hades in Greek mythology, that’s where the real gold – not the fool’s gold – is!

Gary Monti has over 30 years experience providing change- and project management services internationally. He works at the nexus between strategy, business case, project-, process-, and people management. Service modalities include consulting, teaching, mentoring, and speaking. Credentials include PMP number 14 (Project Management Institute®), Myers-Briggs Type Indicator certification, and accreditation in the Cynefin methodology. Gary can be reached at gary.monti@aureliuspress.com.

If you’d like to submit a Jungian-focused blog on working with different personality types (in professional or personal settings), please contact Jennifer Rojas, our Blog Editor, at jennifer.rojas@aureliuspress.com.

Character and Personality: Time

characterpersonalityTIMEWould you like to be able to quickly determine where synergies and problems exist in an organization? Come along to see how knowing individuals’ temperaments can help predict possible outcomes in team situations.

Traits

Temperament refers to preferred ways of thinking. Traits refer to preferred behaviors. They correlate well. Let’s look at a mythical company with the following temperament mix:

  • CEO – NT (intuitive thinker)
  • Senior staff member – NF (intuitive feeler)
  • Operations manager – SJ (sensing judger)
  • Programmer – SP (sensing perceiver)

Of course, none of them want their time wasted. The problem is with their perception of time. Here is the order in which they each prioritize past, present, and future. Also, their nicknames have been included to give a hint as to where their priorities lie.

TRAIT       Nickname            Past    Present   Future
NT               Field Marshal           2              3              1
NF               Organizer                   3              1              2
SJ                Enforcer                      —             1              —
SP               Doer                               1              2              3

So how does this play out in the work place? Take a look at each of their POSITIVE traits…

NT (Field Marshal)

  • Sees where the company can be in the future
  • Sets standards and holds to them
  • Delegates today’s activities to others
  • Strategic thinker
  • Holds on to the vision throughout difficulties
  • Leads the way and doesn’t waver
  • Main interest is achieving dreams and accomplishments
  • The past informs the future. Incorporates lessons-learned into future plans

NF (Organizer)

  • Takes interest in others and how they are brought together to get things done
  • Pays attention to the overall-balance among key factors
  • Puts “teeth” into the NT’s strategic plans
  • Will look towards the future by focusing on generating cooperation today
  • Works as a shock absorber between the NT and lower ranks

SJ (Enforcer)

  • Focuses on NOW
  • Stays on task and gets things done
  • Knows the limits of available resources
  • Tactically-oriented
  • Supports the strategies that come down from above

SP (Doer)

  • Prefers a structure be presented within which work can be performed
  • Wants to know what the orders are for getting work done
  • Prefers others develop strategies
  • Wants involved when tasks are defined

As you have probably guessed by now, there can be a dark side to all this. Now, let’s take a peek at some of their more… ahem… challenging aspects…

NT (Field Marshal)

  • Doesn’t hesitate to change on-going work in order to leverage the future
  • Believes the project is complete at the moment of delegation
  • Does not want to be distracted by problems from the present
  • Risk management is for nay-sayers. It can distract from the future
  • Positive criticism downplayed or ignored
  • Negative criticism emphasized
  • Little interest in people and their requirements
  • Can ride roughshod over others and have a short memory regarding those behaviors

NF (Organizer)

  • Can lose sight of the need to mend problems from the past since there is push for today and the future.

SJ (Enforcer)

  • Rules are to be enforced, not questioned
  • The past can’t be fixed and the future is out of reach so don’t waste time on either of them
  • Finds strategizing, planning, and spending time on what-ifs boring
  • Wonders if strategies are sane

SP (Doer)

  • Wonders if the plan is sane
  • Can be rebellious yet wants no risk
  • Can go in own direction without informing others
  • Gauges work and others based on how the SP was treated in the past
  • Change is viewed with suspicion. The past needs to be resolved

The Leadership Challenge

You can see that avoiding wasting time can quickly turn into a multi-dimensional problem! Making the effort to understand others can pay huge dividends by providing clear vision as to strengths and limits in various situations with your team. With that understanding as a base, planning and execution can proceed realistically.

Are any of these traits familiar to you from team projects you’ve worked on? How about in your family?

Gary Monti has over 30 years experience providing change- and project management services internationally. He works at the nexus between strategy, business case, project-, process-, and people management. Service modalities include consulting, teaching, mentoring, and speaking. Credentials include PMP number 14 (Project Management Institute®), Myers-Briggs Type Indicator certification, and accreditation in the Cynefin methodology. Gary can be reached at gary.monti@aureliuspress.com.

If you’d like to submit a Jungian-focused blog on working with different personality types (in professional or personal settings), please contact Jennifer Rojas, our Blog Editor, at jennifer.rojas@aureliuspress.com.

Character and Personality: Emotionality

EmotionalityHow does it strike you when there is difficulty and someone says, “Oh, it’s just a communication problem…”?

Where did that word “just” come from? Is the working assumption that communications is effortless, straightforward, and accurate over 90% of the time?

My experience says otherwise. I’ve found there is a very common behavior that poisons communications especially in times of change – emotionality.

BUT WAIT! Aren’t emotions healthy? If so, what is the difference between emotionality and honest expression of feelings?

Sorting out the difference and being a leader requires wisdom and a working knowledge of both character and personality – along with the interplay between the two. This is the pond in which we will swim here.

Can We Talk?

Alfred Korzybski, the founder of general semantics, found that as stress increases, the desire for valid information increases in terms of both amount and frequency. However, unless one has a strong, positive character the desire to actively communicate goes down. People retreat inward. This isn’t to say they shut up. Rather, there is an ever-increasing absorption with the question, “What is going to happen to me!?” Minds start racing and projections of the most horrible kind can take over.

While there might be a great deal of talking, there actually can be a dramatic drop in communications. Others become objects seen as helping or hurting us in getting to a stable position.

Understanding what contributes to communications or its breakdown helps a leader decide how to plan and execute the next move. This is where character and personality come into play.

Character vs Personality

Character is the inward set of rules by which one operates. In game theory it refers to one’s rationale for making decisions. This is a bit oversimplified, but will work for now. “Character” is a rather neutral term. A hardened criminal has a character just as the judge who sends him to prison does. In this blog, “character” refers to rules grounded in professionalism, empathy, and compassion.

Personality comprises the way we choose to gather information and interact with our environment.

To contrast: two people can have similar character traits, e.g., the desire to serve mankind, but have very different personalities for expressing it. One could become a therapist while the other becomes a contractor who builds libraries.

Let’s use this context to examine emotionality.

Emotions vs Emotionality

Emotions are quite valuable. They reflect the variance between our expectations and the current state of affairs. Frequently, these expectations are driven by our personalities. For example, if a municipality with limited funds must choose between a mental health facility and building a library, the therapist and contractor could violently disagree as to how best to spend the money. They risk falling into emotionality.

Here is where character comes into play. Leaders look at their feelings and ask, “Are they appropriate for the principles at play?” Essentially, the principles come first regardless of the consequences and emotions are expected to shift accordingly. (Important tip: Reads easy, does hard.)

With emotionality, decisions are made based on feelings and seeking to either get relief from or indulge them. Think of a two-year-old trying to get the upper hand by throwing a tantrum.

Where this leaves us is: an honest expression of emotions with a statement of underlying principles (agenda) supports communication with others, while emotionality has the potential to tear community apart.

Gary Monti has over 30 years experience providing change- and project management services internationally. He works at the nexus between strategy, business case, project-, process-, and people management. Service modalities include consulting, teaching, mentoring, and speaking. Credentials include PMP number 14 (Project Management Institute®), Myers-Briggs Type Indicator certification, and accreditation in the Cynefin methodology. Gary can be reached at gary.monti@aureliuspress.com.

If it feels like your project is an adult day-care center and you’d like to submit a Jungian-focused blog on working with different personality types, please contact Jennifer Rojas, our Blog Editor, at jennifer.rojas@aureliuspress.com.

Character and Personality: Processing Information

Ever sit in a tense meeting where tempers are beginning to flare? Listening to the disagreeing parties, does it suddenly hit you they are violently agreeing!? How can that happen? What is going on? The same reality is being addressed so why all the commotion?

Everything else being equal, it might be a difference in temperament; i.e., the individuals gather and process information differently.

Temperament can also be called “wiring.” Wiring refers to both preferred and challenging, more difficult pathways in the brain. This can be seen in PET scans of the brain. Take two people who have different wiring and ask a simple question like, “How’s the project doing?” The scans will show different areas of the brain being active depending upon one’s wiring.

If a person has yet to mature, he will focus on his preferred pathways and be resistant to (afraid of) hearing anything that requires going to those weaker areas of the brain that are more challenging. Confusion between the conclusions and the path taken to get there occurs – and, voila! – violent agreement appears.

Let’s look at two aspects of neural wiring and information gathering/processing as viewed by Carl Jung. They are the irrational and the rational. Each has four modes of operation, giving a grand total of eight modes.

For each of us one mode predominates. We can do the other seven, but just prefer the one. Looking at how these modes operate can shed light on why people agree or disagree. Also, it can show how team members may bond or play “odd man out.”

The Irrational

The irrational refers to how we gather information. It’s called irrational because it is instinctual as in non-rational. There is no thinking involved. We just do it. Jung called the two main ways we gather information Intuitive and Sensing. In turn, each has two subdivisions called introverted and extraverted. This gives us:

Introverted Intuition – Ni. The Ni person is the “Aha!” individual seeing patterns and boiling them down to sharp insights. Details are secondary and there is a comfort with unclear situations.

Extraverted Intuition – Ne. The Ne loves to break new ground. Exploring just comes naturally to the extroverted Intuitive. There is a desire to exhaust all the possibilities and challenge the status quo.

Introverted Sensing – Si. The Si brings order and clarity to situations by linking the present with the past and working to develop precise pathways to the future. Detail and clarity are extremely important.

Extraverted Sensing – Se. The Se makes things happen – now! The Se has no room for nonsense. “Action” is the word of the day, every day. “This way has always worked” and “urgency” are two things they stress.

Do any of these look familiar yet- in yourself or people you know?

The Rational

Once we have the information we need to process information. This processing is what Jung called the “rational.” There are two main methods of processing information – Feeling and Thinking – with introverted and extraverted subcategories. They break down to:

Introverted Feeling – Fi. The Fi focuses on the importance of ideas especially those about which they feel strongly. The main drive for an Fi is priorities based on convictions.

Extraverted Feeling – Fe. The Fe loves to coach people and looks after their welfare. Building positive relationships is important.

Introverted Thinking – Ti. The Ti focuses on theory and loves to explain the how and why of things.

Extraverted Thinking – Te. The Te brings organization and structure to situations working like a conductor massaging roles and responsibilities until they are well defined and work is flowing.

Team Members and Stakeholders

Has a specific person popped into mind when reading the descriptions? If so – great! It signifies the process of empathizing with others. This is key for establishing leadership and forming teams. This material will take us on an interesting ride into the human psyche and figuring out how to get things done.

Remember: each of us has all eight functions. There is just a preferred one that dominates in us based on neural wiring. Thus, try to avoid labeling people and leave them space. Leaders nurture the process of growing into the remaining seven.

Gary Monti has over 30 years experience providing change- and project management services internationally. He works at the nexus between strategy, business case, project-, process-, and people management. Service modalities include consulting, teaching, mentoring, and speaking. Credentials include PMP number 14 (Project Management Institute®), Myers-Briggs Type Indicator certification, and accreditation in the Cynefin methodology. Gary can be reached at gary.monti@aureliuspress.com.

If you’d like to submit a Jungian-focused blog on working with different personality types, please contact Jennifer Rojas, our Blog Editor, at jennifer.rojas@aureliuspress.com.